Once Again...

Haiz, last time i heard from a friend that there would be no PMT for BT2, i was quite relieved after i heard that.
Unfortunately, what my friend said is not reliable because i realised that there will be PMT after i checked the student organiser.

Sh*t! OMG, i just promised mom that i would study hard during the last PMT and i screwed up and scored badly for the following test! It means that my mom has to see my tutor one more time!
I never tell mom how i did yet, but i am worrying mom cannot stand such a blow...
i rmb that i said sth along that line to mom, "if i really strive hard, i confirm can get good results one!" but now...
I believe that mom will be super disappointed on me after she knows my results.
Although i have improvement for my maths this time round, but i don't dare to tell her coz she surely will ask me "how about other subjects?"
It is so shameful for parents to meet the teachers due to the terrible acadamic performance of their children(at least i feel disgraced if i am one of them). And now, mom has to visit school one more time...

I know i deserve what i get, but mom does not.
Everytime i blame her not to discipline, supervise me and encourage me to study hard, but actually what mom did for me is much much more than what i think and what i know. I confess that she has expended much care and thought on me, but i get everything for granted, sometime i don't even appreciate it. So the one to blame is myself instead of anyone else.
Being a 20 years old adult, i should have self discipline and self restaint. I can't lie to myself that i am still a small kid that depend everything on my parents.

So now I have to wake up, it's time to wake up.

I have to push myself, and most importantly, put practice into action.