Haiz, last time i heard from a friend that there would be no PMT for BT2, i was quite relieved after i heard that.
Unfortunately, what my friend said is not reliable because i realised that there will be PMT after i checked the student organiser.
Sh*t! OMG, i just promised mom that i would study hard during the last PMT and i screwed up and scored badly for the following test! It means that my mom has to see my tutor one more time!
I never tell mom how i did yet, but i am worrying mom cannot stand such a blow...
i rmb that i said sth along that line to mom, "if i really strive hard, i confirm can get good results one!" but now...
I believe that mom will be super disappointed on me after she knows my results.
Although i have improvement for my maths this time round, but i don't dare to tell her coz she surely will ask me "how about other subjects?"
It is so shameful for parents to meet the teachers due to the terrible acadamic performance of their children(at least i feel disgraced if i am one of them). And now, mom has to visit school one more time...
I know i deserve what i get, but mom does not.
Everytime i blame her not to discipline, supervise me and encourage me to study hard, but actually what mom did for me is much much more than what i think and what i know. I confess that she has expended much care and thought on me, but i get everything for granted, sometime i don't even appreciate it. So the one to blame is myself instead of anyone else.
Being a 20 years old adult, i should have self discipline and self restaint. I can't lie to myself that i am still a small kid that depend everything on my parents.
So now I have to wake up, it's time to wake up.
I have to push myself, and most importantly, put practice into action.
13.7.10
12.7.10
Reflection
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
10.7.10
IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME??
由琴晚7點瞓到今朝10點,的確係因之前考試挍到好攰,但同時又好似想借瞓覺去逃避面對現實,唔想向任何人交代d咩咁,好想等自己靜一靜.....
從今朝起身,心入面就一直諗住d成績,但每次讀書時就有心無力,專心唔到.
有時真係好想放棄,唔想再去追求d咩,但一諗到自己係屋企入面最後一個能夠成為大學生的希望,又係父母最抱期望的一個,咁都冇辦法啦,都要挨埋佢,入左大學先算.
中學果時攞全班第一, O' level 時攞好成績,爸爸媽咪不知幾咁開心,幾咁以我為榮.
估唔到宜家上左JC,次次考試後都要見家長,令到佢地幾丟架...真係好對唔住我架父母.
真係好希望之後果4個月我會生生性性,好好讀書,作最後衝刺!
9.7.10
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